April 8, 2024

224: The Successful Chef Mindset : Resilience

“Burnout is a conflict of values between what you think is important and what your employer thinks is important.”

Explore the essential leadership qualities in the culinary world, from inspiring your team to balancing firm guidance with support, and learn how to foster resilience within your team.

In this episode of Chef Life Radio, I delve into the crucial role mindset plays in a chef’s career.

I emphasize the significance of resilience when navigating the challenges of the culinary world, from high-pressure services to unexpected menu mishaps and staff conflicts.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Resilience is Key: The importance of resilience in facing adversity. Drawing from personal experiences, I highlight the ability to bounce back and stay focused during tough times.
  2. Cultivating a Successful Chef Mindset: Strategies for developing a successful chef mindset are shared, including practicing mindfulness, seeking support, and returning to basics when faced with challenges.
  3. Leadership and Emotional Intelligence: Leadership qualities in the culinary field extend beyond menu creation. Effective communication, recognizing team strengths, and constructively handling stress and conflicts are crucial.
  4. Role-Playing Scenarios: I underscore the value of role-playing scenarios to develop a successful chef mindset, promoting a positive and supportive kitchen culture.
  5. The “Successful Chef Mindset Challenge”: You are invited to participate in this challenge to foster a compassionate kitchen environment and find joy in the culinary journey; grab your scorecard by clicking here.

Tune in to understand how emotional intelligence, resilience, and effective leadership coaching can elevate individual chefs and culinary teams.

My practical advice and personal anecdotes provide a roadmap for aspiring and seasoned chefs to thrive in the dynamic world of culinary arts.

00:00 Introduction to Chef Life Radio

Meet Chef Adam Lamb, your host and culinary career coach, as he introduces the powerful world of mindset in the culinary industry and the importance of resilience for success.

02:28 Resilience: The Old and the New

Chef Adam shares a personal story about resilience from his early days in the kitchen, highlighting the evolution of resilience from a traditional tough approach to a more flexible and adaptive mindset.

08:28 Cultivating Resilience

Learn practical strategies to cultivate resilience in kitchen challenges, including mindfulness techniques, seeking support, and reflecting on past successes to build confidence.

12:57 Leadership in the Culinary World

Explore the essential leadership qualities in the culinary world, from inspiring your team to balancing firm guidance with support, and learn how to foster resilience within your team.

Transcript
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Hey there, chef. This month, we're diving deep into the powerful

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world of mindset. The secret ingredient behind every successful

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chef's journey, get ready to unlock the mindset shifts that propel

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you toward culinary greatness and redefine your path to success.

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In this episode, we're gonna be talking about resilience. Maybe

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you've asked yourself these questions. It's a high pressure service,

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and you're wondering how you can maintain your cool and focus

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during peak service hours when everybody seems to be asking you

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for everything at the same time. Maybe there's a conflict between

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the staff. How do I handle this conflict without losing my shit?

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Maybe it's a menu mishap, something you thought was really gonna

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work out well, but certainly didn't sell. And when faced with

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the unexpected challenges, how can you adapt and keep the kitchen

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running smoothly? We're talking about the successful chef mindset.

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The kitchen's heat is not just from the stove. It's the challenges

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that we face every day as chefs. Maintaining resilience in these

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challenges is crucial to your success and well-being. In this

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episode, I'm gonna give you 3 strategies and tips for cultivating

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a successful chef mindset, and I'm also gonna give you 3 tips

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on how to foster more resilience in your culinary crew. Welcome

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to Chef Life Radio where we empower chefs with emotional intelligence

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and leadership coaching and transform teams and cultures. I'm

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your host and culinary career coach, chef Adam Lamb, and I'm committed

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to helping you reclaim your passion, purpose, and process in the

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kitchen. Our mission at Chef Life Radio is clear, to elevate culinary

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professionals into effective leaders who excel in their craft

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and cultivate thriving collaborative teams. As a seasoned culinary

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career coach, I specialize in empowering chefs to thrive in their

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roles through a unique blend of emotional intelligence, relationship

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building skills, and communication enhancement. Join me as we

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unlock your potential and create a kitchen environment where passion,

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purpose, and excellence thrive. I focus on leadership development,

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work life balance and wellness, professional growth, and career

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advancement. For the next 4 episodes, I'm gonna be talking about

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mindset, what it means, and how you can cultivate a successful

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chef's mindset. If you're ready to discover just how far you've

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come on your culinary leadership journey, Take part in the successful

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Chef Mindset Challenge and download your scorecard at link.chefliferadio.comforward/mindset,

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and the link is in the show notes. If you're ready to spark the

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flame and reclaim your passion, purpose, and process, then let's

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begin. Resilience. It's hard to define because it used to mean

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something completely different and much more dangerous. It used

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to mean strength and resolve rooted by purpose and able to withstand

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massive pressure until it no longer can, and then, of course,

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it shatters like concrete or big oak trees. Back in the day when

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I opened up my very first restaurant in downtown Chicago as executive

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sous chef, we spent about 6 weeks working about 75 to 80 hours

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a week to get ready to open. After that 1st week that we were

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open, things were moving so quickly, and the place was so slammed.

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It took everything in my power just to be able to keep going.

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We've heard it all before. Right? Suck it up sunshine. If you

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can't handle the heat, maybe it's time to find another profession.

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Stop acting like a delicate flower and toughen up. I've seen preschoolers

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with more resilience than you. Do you want me to hold your hand

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through every little task? You're either on my bus or you're out

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walking. And most famously, I'm gonna come to your house tonight

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and burn it to the ground. And in the morning, I'm gonna salt

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the ground so nothing will ever grow there. Kitchen bro code for,

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as it was for me, so it shall be for you. Shit rolls downhill,

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buddy. In some kitchens, I found that shame is preferable to failure

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because shame is shouldered alone when failure stains everyone

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with the same brush. So there was no way I was gonna fail. After

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about 2 weeks when we were open, the operations manager came through

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the kitchen, and he saw me huddled down next to one of the stoves.

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He patted me on the back. I stood up, and he said, hey. Listen,

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Adam. I just wanna make sure that you understood that what you're

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doing is seen and appreciated, and all your hard work really matters.

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Just he nodded my head a little bit. As soon as he left, I turned

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and walked into the little electric room that doubled as a kitchen

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uniform storage and locker room. I broke down and started crying

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for about 20, 30 minutes and not just like a little boohoo. These

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were, like, huge heaving sobs because in that entire 6 weeks that

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preceded that particular incident, I was doing everything I possibly

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could in order just to hang on hang on for just one more moment,

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just one more day because I figured all I needed to do was just

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keep going. Be a good soldier. Keep going. One more step. Keep

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going. One more shift. What I didn't realize is how close I was

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to being burnt out, and that release of energy through my body

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through crying was the only way that I knew to move that energy

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out of my body because I felt in that moment, even while someone

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was saying thank you, I felt like I was gonna shatter into a 1000000

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pieces. I was brittle, broken, backed up, and ready to break.

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The thing that's important to understand about burnout is that

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it is a direct result of clinging to the old idea of what resilience

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used to mean, that you're strong enough to be able to put up with

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everything and anything. The reality is that even the biggest

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boulder in the middle of a stream is gonna get whittled down to

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just about nothing, and the stream will win out. Burnout is a

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conflict of values between what you think is important and what

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your employer thinks is important. That's what I used to think

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resilience was. What I discovered through my process, my journey,

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and through the wound to heal the pain is that no one, doesn't

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matter if it's my mother or lover or my friend or enemy, my patron,

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my fellow chef, nobody will ever fully understand or appreciate

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how much of me I put into what I do for a living. I'm thinking

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probably the same for you. I willingly chose all the intention,

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reverence, and humility, all the physical, emotional, and spiritual

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energy that I had put into everything I had done up until that

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moment. I chose it. I had to take full responsibility for my experience

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and the results and the lack thereof because I'm keenly aware

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that I was choosing it at every moment. I admit that sometimes

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I wasn't even aware of my motivations, but I was the one who decided

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what to do and how to do it. So to look for someone else to fully

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appreciate what I was doing as some type of pat on the back and

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validation of who I was being in the moment was a fool's errand.

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In that moment, felt like I could continue to go on, that my resilience

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was somehow rewarded. But how could I ever expect anyone else

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to know or appreciate what was solely mine and my power to give

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to my craft and fraternity of brothers and sisters? Once I understood

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that the one person who could value me or not, once freed from

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that mental emotional stress, I was able to finally focus out

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instead of inward giving others what I had once wanted and being

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able to model mature professionalism so that my charges would

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know what that looked like, what thought, felt, and acted. So

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when they were ready to step into those clogs, they would know

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how to embrace it and embody it for those who would follow them.

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Now it's more accurate to say as the American Psychological Association

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defines resilience, and a resilient mindset is the ability to

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withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult life events.

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In a word, it's flexible, being more bamboo and a lot less oak.

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My friend and colleague, Kristen Marvin, uses a term to describe

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resilience perfectly. She calls it mental fitness. You notice

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she didn't say mental toughness. I wonder why. K. So how can I

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cultivate resilience in the face of kitchen challenges? You can

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do 3 things. Number 1 is you can practice mindfulness techniques,

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deep breathing, visualization, stay grounded and centered during

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stressful moments in the kitchen. Sometimes that might take a

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pattern interrupt where you have to walk outside and just take

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a deep breath on the back dock. Sometimes mindfulness means being

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present to what there is to do in that particular moment. I do

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this thing where I call it future projection where right before

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I get on a call, right before I go out on a stage, right before

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I walk into the kitchen, I take a moment and I talk to myself

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about what that experience is gonna be like as a future projection

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or a desire for a particular outcome, whether that's this conversation

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is gonna go smoothly. I'm gonna know exactly what I need to say

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in every moment. But just taking a moment and taking a deep breath

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and focusing on that for a moment as opposed to letting my anxiety

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or passion run away with me such that I'm not actually grounded

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in that particular moment. Action item number 2, you can seek

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support from mentors, colleagues, or professional coaches to gain

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perspective, guidance, and encouragement when facing those challenges.

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Very often, we think that we have to handle all this alone, wrestle

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the problem to the ground until we come up with an answer, and

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then finally come up and make a declaration. I'm telling you that

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is the long road off a short pier. What you need to do is check-in

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with others that have gone through the same experience or going

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through the same experience and be very transparent, vulnerable,

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and open with them such that you might be able to hear a different

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perspective, something that's gonna actually pivot you away from

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this one particular tact that you thought you were gonna take

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and provide you another opportunity to deepen and think about

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what it is that you're actually gonna do. And number 3, reflect

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on past successes and remind yourself of your ability to overcome

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the obstacles, fostering a sense of confidence and resilience

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in your culinary journey. Thinking about the things that went

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well for you or thinking about the challenges that you've overcome

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can be a great way of, again, grounding yourself and understanding

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that you do have the resilience to actually get through this particular

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moment. Being more bamboo than oak is a great way of kind of buffeting

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changes and realizing that as a read in the wind, you're always

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gonna come back to that straightened position. One last little

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tip about resilience is that it's important to understand that

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when things are going rough, it's time to get back to the basics.

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It's time to get back to humility. It's time to understand that

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in any given circumstance, no matter how overwhelming it might

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seem, it's time to get back to chopping wood and carrying water.

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There's an old adage that says that as of the apprentice, I chopped

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wood and I carried water, and as the master, I chopped wood and

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carried water. No matter where you're at, there's what you think

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there is to do, and then there's what there is to do. And sometimes

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when things seem completely overwhelming, resilience comes down

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to the small acts, the things that there are to do even in the

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face of insurmountable obstacles or things that seem like, like,

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I'll never be able to put up with it or to succeed against this.

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It's as simple as what there is to do. Couple weeks ago, I was

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wrestling with something in my head and I couldn't really talk

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about it. And my wife asked me, like, what's going on? And I wouldn't

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say anything. And one morning, I just walked up to the kitchen,

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and I decided I was gonna pull myself up by my bootstraps metaphorically.

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And on the way to the tea kettle, my wife whispers over her shoulder

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to me, chop wood and carry water. I'm like, yeah. That's what

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there is to do. Just chop wood and carry water and disassociate

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myself from the expectation that anybody would understand or appreciate

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or anything. It was divorcing myself from any attachment to an

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outcome. Because in the end, all there is to do is what there

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is to do. How about for your team? Leadership in the culinary

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world is more about than just creating menus and managing inventory.

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It's about inspiring your team and setting the tone for your kitchen

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culture. Leaders must be adept at multitasking, handling the pressure

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of a busy service, making quick decisions. Your leadership impacts

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everything from food quality to customer satisfaction and staff

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morale. Your role as a leader includes being a role model, providing

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clear communication, guiding your staff through the industry's

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demands. It's essential to show your team that you're willing

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to roll up your sleeves and work alongside them them when necessary.

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Leaders also recognize their team member strengths in delegating

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tasks accordingly, which ensures efficiency and helps with career

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advancement by fostering individual skills. Balancing firm guidance

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with understanding and support is the key to a strong cohesive

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brigade. And if you're looking for ways in which to foster more

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resilience or to share that successful chef mindset with your

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team, you start off by handling stress with composure, constructively

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addressing conflicts, especially when your team is there. They

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see your emotional intelligence in action, and they're probably

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more inclined to follow suit. If you're freaking out or tripping

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out in that particular moment, you gotta understand that everybody's

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actually looking to you for emotional cues of how they should

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react in similar situations. You're always being watched. It's

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really important to be able to show others how to be cool under

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pressure. I'm not talking about swallowing the crap that's happening

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in the moment. But to be able to constructively address that conflict

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in such a way that you gain consensus is an incredibly powerful

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way to model that for your team. Regular team meetings. I say

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this again and again. If you're not having a stand up right before

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service, then you're missing an incredible opportunity, not only

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to create a safe space. You can express concerns, but you can

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also offer support, and you can allow others and have a voice

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and to be heard. Everybody's a stakeholder, but you get to be

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the decision maker. That doesn't necessarily mean that you don't

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want to hear what others have to say. It's a great way of building

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cohesion amongst your team, fostering emotional intelligence,

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and building resilience within that team. And lastly, one of my

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favorites is train and role play your staff. Role play is one

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of the greatest tools that you can deploy while building resilience

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because when things are happening in the kitchen, it's the first

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time that someone's experienced it. There is an angry customer

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or there is a server who's freaking out. If that's happening in

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the regular course of service, it's very hard to try to steer

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that that conflict or that situation into a successful outcome

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without having the taken the time to role play with your staff.

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You can role play with yourself in front of a mirror, but the

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idea is to actually create the environment where which this might

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happen, just actually watch them how they handled it, and then

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to use that as a coaching moment. And that could be everything

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from sliding a plate across the pass, trying to get somebody,

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a rise out of somebody, but role play that shit out first so that

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when it's happening in a live service, everybody knows how to

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handle it with grace and composure. Does that make sense? Great.

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Listen. I'm gonna leave it right there because I know it's a lot

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to take in, but we're gonna be talking about this for the next

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three episodes. This idea of what it's like to build a successful

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chef mindset and the particular tenants or important assets that

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build that up. So in the next several episodes, you're gonna be

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hearing a lot more of this because it's my job, my honor, and

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my privilege to support you on your way to culinary leadership

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mastery. This is Chef Life Radio, your go to place, your home

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for actionable intelligence and tips, tricks, and strategies for

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success, satisfaction, and sanity in the culinary industry. That's

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it for this episode. We'll catch you next week. Stay tall and

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frosty, y'all. Join the Successful Chef Mindset Challenge in at

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link.chefliferadio.comforward/mindset. Remember, cultivating a

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successful chef mindset isn't just about what happens in the kitchen.

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It's about embracing a mindset of growth, resilience, and positivity

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that will elevate every aspect of your culinary journey. Let's

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embark on this transformative journey together and unlock the

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mindset of a true culinary champion.

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That's it for this episode of Cheflife Radio. Here at Cheflife

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Radio, we believe that working in a kitchen should be demanding.

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It just shouldn't have to be demeaning. It should be hard. It

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just doesn't have to be harsh. We believe that it's possible to

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have more solidarity and less suck it up sunshine, more compassion,

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less cutthroat island. We believe in more partnership and less

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put up or shut up. More family and less fuck you. Stand tall and

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frosty brothers and sisters, but consider for a moment, for all

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the blood, sweat and effort you've put into what you do, at the

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end of the day, it's just some stuff on a plate. None of it really

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matters. It doesn't define you as a person or make you any more

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special or less than anyone else. It's just a dance that we're

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engaged in, so we might as well laugh and enjoy every bit of it.

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Or didn't you know that the purpose of your life should be to enjoy it?

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You just like it halfway up a love time. Humble. Goddamn. It's

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Rory Fox. I don't live on now.

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Visit the website at chef life radio dot com. Subscribe to the

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podcast at any of the major podcast directories. Please take a

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moment and give us a thumbs up and write a review. It really does

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help spread the news. Thanks for listening. Until the next episode.

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Be well and do good.